A Few Days Until Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I haven’t posted in a while, again. Our house is an incredible mess, but it’s a happy kind of mess, with baked products and the components for several handmade gifts cluttering up the countertops. We don’t have a garage, or a a craft room, so the kitchen table is the workbench of choice. I think we’ve spent more time around that table together working in the last couple of weeks than we usually do in a month. I’ve pitched in to work on the gift my wife is making for my sister, and she ensured that I didn’t blow the lettering on the one I’m making for my brother’s wife.

A few years ago we decided that in order to increase the amount of thought and effort that went into selecting gifts for close friends and family, we started to hand make gifts. In order to pick gifts that will be enjoyed and used, I find that I have to start thinking about options in October or November. These gifts often end up costing more than a store bought gift that we would have previously picked, but they’re fun to make. And I learn something new each year when I pick a project. What’s more, I get more efficient at it every year. The gifts have gotten better every year, I think. And when I make one and love it, I get excited to start ,making things for other people who weren’t on  my list.

This year a few events threatened to overshadow Christmas. The “End of the World” scheduled for today drove me nuts. I’m too pragmatic to enjoy a lot of joking around about an event that is a non-event. Only at the last second did it seem to spur any type of dialog about “What would you be doing if these were your last few hours on Earth.”

The killings at Newtown, CT were milked for maximum entertainment by the mass media; thank goodness we don’t have cable TV. If I could take away one positive from those horrific events, I would say that we might be learning, as a society, that true heroes aren’t always the ones toting guns and mowing down bad guys. Sometimes true heroes are people who make incredibly wise and beautiful decisions, while surrounded by carnage and mayhem. Hollywood and our military industrial complex has taught us that justice gets served when the bad guy gets shot by the protagonist, and order is restored. These days, the bad guy seems to kill himself more often than the “good guys” in uniforms and badges do. And what ends up happening, in real life, is that society is left with all kinds of unanswered, and potentially unanswerable questions. I’m a big believer that the heroics happen unheralded. Think of the outpouring of love and forgiveness it will take to move that town, and by extension, the nation, beyond this tragedy. As a volunteer with Victim Services  where I live, I know that the heroics will mostly take place long after the event is over. People will reach out to one another in love and support. Some kind souls, whether friends, relatives, or total strangers,  will continue to support the families of the deceased long after the TV cameras have packed up and moved on, money made, and looking for the next crisis.

A friend of mine from junior high days lost his older brother, unexpectedly, last month. I wonder to myself what heroes will reach out to him in the months and years after the cards and calls stop coming.

This season gifts us with the opportunity for introspection. For those of us who believe in Christ, it presents us with the chance to consider what true heroics looks like. It comes with a message of peace, goodwill towards men. It comes wrapped in the songs of angels, on a hillside under the light of a guiding star, saying “Fear not”.

To all my wonderful friends, family and the wider blog-following world, I wish you the very best this Christmas. Instead of giving in to fear, anger, or cynicism this year, just let your heart rejoice in the simple pleasures of home, family, friends, and the joy of this special season that is so unlike any other.

Merry Christmas!

5 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

I just finished telling the admin assistant at my work that it’s a good thing I verbalize every single thought that comes into my head. That’s a little tongue in cheek, but mostly true, so when my friend ‘A’ suggested a write a blog post about ten things that no one knows about me, I thought – there’s a challenge! I’ll start with 5, and then see if I can think of 5 more to do another blog post later.

1.) I’m terrified of public speaking and performing on stage.

I know that is will seem absolutely absurd to anyone who knows me, but it’s the truth. I love to give talks at church, but chances are my hands are shaking, and my knees are knocking the whole time. It’s obvious when I sing alone, and my voice gets really shaky. In social situations with friends I’m an unbridled extrovert, but toss in someone I’m uncomfortable with, and watch me clam up instantly. Don’t get me wrong, though I love to hear the sound of my own voice, expressing my own opinions…

2.) I recently laid out a list of values for myself, and I try every day to live up to them. I posted them on my blog in the “About Me” page, but at first I set it to Private, so only I could read them.

M keeps me accountable every day. She knows that I am more apt to start a project than to finish it, so she gives me no end of grief about my values. I keep a copy on the wall by my desk, and I set them as my wallpaper on my desktop. The number one biggest change that I’ve found since putting my values down on paper is how I deal with M. If I find myself frustrated or upset with her, I take a mental step back, and ask myself, “What is it that she is hoping to get from me, and what is it that I am hoping to get from her?” I’m far from perfect, but saving my best self for her and the kids has dramatically improved the atmosphere in our home. If I could add one thing to my values, under Commitment, I’d add, “I will speak today for the relationship I want tomorrow.”

3.) I am the most sentimental guy in the universe. Ok, so you might know this, but only if you talk to M. She thinks it’s funny to tell people that I cry in movies. I don’t think it’s funny. I think that it has a lot to do with being able to be completely immersed in a story. Empathy is not a bad thing. Being able and willing to put myself in other people’s shoes is part of what makes me good at my job, deal with kids, spouse, family and in-laws. It’s embarrassing as hell when my wife leans over and says to me after a particularly moving episode of Glee and says, “You are not crying. You have got to be kidding me.” I wasn’t crying. I just had something in my eye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGes7FDmHAM

4.) I don’t feel like it’s Christmas until I hear this song:

Es Ist Ein Ros Entsprungen

Growing up, every Christmas Eve was spent at my Oma’s house. Each time, we’d listen to a record of German Christmas carols. This one always stood out.

Lo, how a Rose e’er blooming from tender stem hath sprung!
Of Jesse’s lineage coming, as men of old have sung.
It came, a floweret bright, amid the cold of winter,
When half spent was the night.

Isaiah ’twas foretold it, the Rose I have in mind;
With Mary we behold it, the virgin mother kind.
To show God’s love aright, she bore to men a Savior,
When half spent was the night.

The shepherds heard the story proclaimed by angels bright,
How Christ, the Lord of glory was born on earth this night.
To Bethlehem they sped and in the manger found Him,
As angel heralds said.

This Flower, whose fragrance tender with sweetness fills the air,
Dispels with glorious splendor the darkness everywhere;
True Man, yet very God, from sin and death He saves us,
And lightens every load.

O Savior, Child of Mary, who felt our human woe,
O Savior, King of glory, who dost our weakness know;
Bring us at length we pray, to the bright courts of Heaven,
And to the endless day!

5.) When I was a kid in elementary school, my best friend and I decided that we were going to either hypnosis or magic to get a couple of girls we liked to like us again, after they lost interest in us when they discovered that the boys in the English program were 3 inches taller and significantly more muscular than us. I had to put that all in one sentence because it’s the most embarrassing story of my entire life, so let’s never speak of it again.

 

Growing Pains

Today I talked to one of my best friends on the phone. That’s not really news, as we talk by phone quite a bit. However, unlike our usual conversations, on this one we actually progressed past updates on our lives and half-hearted barbs at each other.

It’s funny that he would mention it only a few days after my deciding to fire up a blog, but he suggested I start writing. He told me that he assumed that a guy doesn’t get a Bachelor of Arts in English without at least being able to write a passably interesting piece of two, and wouldn’t I like to be able to do something that I loved? He’s a fascinating guy (or so he’ll tell you), and I consider him my resident expert on all things financial and economic. We talked about jobs and career paths, and he questioned the way I was thinking about things. Was there anything I could set up as a business or money-making venture that could add even 500$ a month to my budget? We discussed running a laundromat (long story, which I should tell later), and he asked, why not? It would provide (according to the guy who is currently trying to sell me on the idea of buying said laundromat) at least as much money a year as I make now, as well as allow lots of “down time,” which would in turn allow me time to write. I had never thought about things that way. Because I spend so much time working, I have always thought that work should be something I am passionate about. Like the Forces.

Anyway, I have been pondering on what to write about since I wrote the first post. I have that old fear creeping back in. I start to get worried that I need to know where this blog is going. Like, what kind of blog do I want it to be? I don’t usually see myself as being ultra-controlling or anything, but when it comes to undertaking large projects, like writing a blog or planning my career, I feel panic to not know the end from the beginning.

The only way I could find to break that destructive thought process was to sit and write something, anything, tonight, to prove to myself that I don’t need to know exactly where this is going. So here’s a blog post. Blerg.

I almost forgot, by the time I got to the end of the post, what I wanted to say in the first place! So I was talking to my friend about how angry I was about my Forces application. I got told that for one of the jobs I applied for, I didn’t have enough volunteer/leadership experience. I was so mad. Maybe I just didn’t sell myself enough, but I also get the feeling that lately no one seems to appreciate or respect the volunteer work done through church. Like it doesn’t count or it’s not as valid. And I was mad because I felt like I just don’t have time to volunteer. Because I need to work to make ends meet, and my job forces me to work evenings (like it or not) on top of a 40 hour week! And when I’m not working, chances are that my wife is, because we need both paycheques. Like need. Sorry if I just spoiled your vision of me as a fantastically wealthy and successful guy. So in the middle of being all mad about not having enough volunteer experience, I started to realize that I was mad that I wasn’t volunteering. Like I was being cheated out of an opportunity that I know I’d find rewarding.
So rather than mope around about it, I came home tonight and applied to volunteer with the Lethbridge Police Service as a volunteer crisis support worker. So there. Two things down this week that I’m tired of telling myself I can’t do. Blerg.